5 Minute Mini-Lesson: How to Temper the Tantrums

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who has epic temper tantrums. She had a scream that could shatter crystal, and would kick and scratch and bite at anyone who came near her when she was raging. That little girl grew up to be a teenager, and still raged. Once she became a grown-up, she managed to contain her tantrums to her own household, but she still raged. Until she didn't. That tantrum exploding little girl turned grown-up is me. After one massively epic tantrum in 2014, I figured out a simple mindfulness practice to keep my tantrums at bay. This blog post details the little things I do every day to make sure I don't built up the pressure to rageful levels anymore.


Anger and Rage, especially at the tantrum level, are simply a build of pressure and fire in our systems. As empaths and energy sensitives, we absorb all kinds of energies, and we FEEL. We feel a lot. Sometimes, expressions of our feels are not appropriate, so we stuff them. But if we stuff them too much, they build up pressure, and that pressure gets hot, too hot, and it eventually pushes the walls and explodes. But if we are MINDFUL and install a simple practice in life of releasing that pressure, we never have to get to the epic tantrum level again. I know because I haven't had a tantrum in over six years, and I used to have them several times a year.


What happens is that when we feel feels, we stuff them away in a sort of pot-belly stove of our bellies, and we keep shutting the door, until it doesn't shut anymore. The best antidote is WATER.


WATER

A tantrum is just really a massive expression of fire. The best way to temper a tantrum of fire is to add water. After that massive tantrum when I was 41 where I broke every piece of glass and ceramic and crystal in my kitchen, after I had nothing left to break, after I calmed down and cleaned up the mess, I took a walk to a river. I waded in the river. I felt like the stones in the riverbed punctured tiny little holes in the soles of my feet and injected the cool liquid to flow all the way up my nerves through my whole body. It was utterly one of the most amazing feelings of my entire life. I felt my whole body sizzle like a fire does when doused with water. So I sat down in the river, and eventually laid down so I was fully immersed. And there, with my ears just under the surface, the river talked to me. It told me I need more water, all the time.


I made a commitment to myself that day to not only drink more water, but to spend more time around water. Here's what I do.


  1. I drink half my body-weight in ounces in plain water every day. that means, at approximately 120lbs, I drink 60 ounces of plain water a day. I've noticed that if I don't do this, I am more quick to anger. If I gulp all the water at once, it doesn't work as well either. I need to drink the 60oz throughout the day, in several glasses at different times of the day.

  2. When I shower and wash my hands, I am conscious with one or two breaths each time to appreciate the water, to remember that moment at the river that day, and to let the water penetrate me, wash away any excess energy debris, and cool any fire I have in me.

  3. At least once a year, when it rains, I consciously walk in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat and let the natural water soothe me.

  4. At least twice a month, I visit some kind of natural body of water...a river, stream, pond, or lake. And when I can, the ocean. I offer gratitude to the water for soothing me in all ways.

  5. When I sense that the pressure may have been building or that I might be close to a day of eruption, I go back to that river, I wade in the water, I sit in the water, I lay in the water and repeat the ritual I did that first time.


I've noticed that if I'm diligent and mindful about this practice with water, the tantrums don't come back. In fact, if I am really careful and mindful, they are a distant memory. But if I slack off on my relationship with water, they creep back in.


If you have children who tend towards tantrums, I might suggest you try to get them around water more often, drink more water, develop a mindful relationship with water. It matters.


 

Do you tend towards tantrums? I can prescribe you a specific MOZI Method exercise to do with water to help you establish a relationship with this magic healing element. Book an Appointment.