The Power of Word - How to Cast a Healing CHARM

How you engage with people, even the most inconsequential interaction, can be a deeply healing experience for someone. Every single human interaction is an opportunity to offer a healing charm. I challenge you to be an agent for change in this world and start using your own super powers to heal the world by purposely and mindfully charming the people you meet.


My dad has a very special kind of super power. He is able to make people remember him. But it's more than that. They remember him because he made them feel really special. Even the most inconsequential interaction with him in line at a grocery store is remembered for years, decades, or even a lifetime. I randomly ran into an acquaintance from college, someone I didn't know well and hadn't been in contact with for over 25 years, and one of the first things that person asked me was "how is your dad? I remember that time he helped us. . ." This is a regular occurrence in my life. People ask me about my dad and reference some simple interaction they remember specifically.


“I've learned that people will forget what you said,

people will forget what you did,

but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou


My dad has mastered the art of casting spells on people, specifically CHARMS. Simply put, he charms them by saying things that make them feel something special. As I outlined in "The Power of WORD - How Every Day Spells Impact our Hormones" - a charm is when words or phrases are used to trigger the brain into spilling happy hormones (dopamine and oxytocin) into your system. People remember my dad because they remember the gush of oxytocin (they liked him) and rush of dopamine (he made them feel good).


I'm lucky. I'm his daughter. Daddy's little girl. I receive more of his charms than most. And, like daddy like daughter. I learned from the best. My husband (the Hobbit) tells me that I have a similar super power. He calls it my GUSH. But mine is slightly different.


My gush is slightly different than my dad's charm. What Dad does is that he greets people with this amazing sense of curiosity. He really truly wants to KNOW them. While yes, he does ask them questions about themselves (and really listen to their answers) more importantly, there is an energy about how he shows his curiosity. He is completely present with them. In that interaction, there is nothing more important to him than connecting with that person's soul. He wants to know their heart, even if it is in some tiny way.


I think my dad got his skill from a deep wound of his own. You see, he was born with a twin who died shortly after birth. As a result, he has always felt a sort of emptiness in his soul. He doesn't want anyone to ever feel that hole like he does, so he makes a point of making every interaction something precious.


My GUSH is slightly different than my dad's greeting charm. While Dad greets people with full curiosity to meet them at a soul level, my gush is more of an empowerment charm. In my ability to see auras, I can tell when someone feels weakened, or challenged, or needs a little boost. So I search their aura for something to compliment, and I GUSH. While Dad is a master of body language, I am a master of vocal tones. When I give a compliment, I select my words carefully, finding unique words that will stand out as memorable. Or I phrase things slightly differently than the norm. For example, I will say "I am in utter awe of you!" instead of "You're awesome." I also emphasize certain tones and letters that have a punch. My voice changes to be empowering, lilting, and inspiring. Not in a motivational speaker kind of way, but more in an admiration kind of way.


I think I got my skill from my own wound as well. In first grade, my teacher told me that I spelled my name wrong, that Leigh is really spelled Lee. In doing so, she cursed me, telling me that I am in essence *wrong*. So, I never want anyone to feel *wrong* like I did. Instead, I GUSH, making a point to CHARM them into feeling very *right* about themselves.


I think my dad and I might have learned this skill from dogs. Perhaps because dogs are beings that have been able to fill that emptiness for him in some way. We LOVE greeting dogs, and we greet them as they greet us, with full exuberance and an over abundance of joy. When a dog meets us with full wagging tail (or even full body wiggles) and squeals and yips of joy, Dad and I reciprocate. We translate this energy into human form in how we greet people.


How to cast a Healing Charm

  1. Take a deep breath & continue to breathe deeply through the whole interaction

  2. Greet the person with your whole presence

  3. look them in the eye

  4. touch them with intention (for example, a two-hand handshake)

  5. square your body to face them directly

  6. Be curious about who they are at their soul level

  7. pretend you are a dog and greet them with the enthusiasm of a wagging tail

  8. ask them about themselves & LISTEN to their answers

  9. repeat what they say to you in some form of a compliment

  10. GUSH - give them a compliment and MEAN IT as you SPEAK IT

  11. use creative and unique words

  12. pick out specific traits to emphasize

  13. offer the same compliment in several different ways

  14. if they deny your compliment, tell them to accept it (like a grandmother wouldn't let a grandch