We've all heard the adage "it takes one to know one" usually in reference to some negative trait. But when we flip it inside out and apply it to compliments, it has an overwhelmingly positive result. If you are looking for healing energy, especially in the areas of self-esteem and self-worth, this Boomerang Compliment Charm is for you! The coolest thing about charms is that they work within the laws of karma, and the come boomeranging back to us with more energy than we used to put them out. I have prescribed this charm-spell healing process to many many clients and they all report back with amazing results. Here are just a few of the benefits: improved relationships with others, enhanced relationship with self, a more positive outlook on life, a flipped perspective of always looking for the positive in the world, an overwhelming feeling of unbounding joy at least once a day.
Inevitably, we catch someone insulting someone else and we mutter under our breath "it takes one to know one." We know the person issuing the insult is just as (if not more) guilty of the crime they are prosecuting. In therapist-speak, this is classic projection. But have you ever thought that projection might also work in the POSITIVE? For example, if someone is offering a compliment, it is because that person also has that positive trait in themselves.
attributing one’s own unacceptable urges to another
In my post "The Power of Word ~ How to Cast a Healing Charm" I tell the story of how my dad *charms* everyone he meets with his complete attention and presence and interest in them. As a result, they remember him as a positive influence, if even for that small moment of a grocery store waiting in line interaction. What I didn't mention is that as a result of this charm that my dad casts on people everywhere he meets, he is experiencing a karmic boomerang effect that floods him with the same kind of complimenting charming energy all day every day. As a result, my dad doesn't really have any sort of self-worth issue. Depression and low self-esteem just aren't in his comprehension of experience. And since I'm his daughter, and the recipient of his many charms, and a prodigy charm caster, I can say the same thing. I believe in myself. Always have. Even when I was diagnosed with clinical depression (I wasn't depressed, I was really just grieving, but that's a blog topic for another series), I always said I believed in myself. My depression was just about being sad for the world I was living in. There's a difference.
The Power of a Compliment can go so far in terms of self-worth and self-esteem. When we hear a genuine and authentic compliment, the vibration of that energy goes right into our heart and core and makes us want to live up to the compliment. The words said in compliment trigger a dopamine rush in our system that makes us really want to BE what we were affirmed to be, and thus we will do whatever we can to repeat that behavior and energy.
This is one of my most favorite healing prescriptions I offer to people who are struggling with self-esteem and low self-confidence. For this process, you will need a tiny notebook, one of those pocket notebooks that is no bigger than the size of an old-fashioned checkbook, so that you can carry it around with you everywhere for at least a week. Try it and let me know how it goes:
Step 1 - A Person You Admire
Choose a person you know personally that you admire. Sit down with your tiny notebook and while you do FOCUSED BREATHING think about this person and all the things you admire about them.
In your notebook, make a list of specific traits you admire about this person (write only on the left side of the page). Write each trait in the form of a compliment.
On the right side of the page, rewrite every item on the list in first person, speaking about yourself.
If you have a hard time believing something you wrote about yourself, write "it takes one to know one" underneath the compliment.
BONUS EXERCISE - invite this person into a conversation about your list. Tell them about "it takes one to know one" and that you are doing an exercise in self-reflection. Share the left side list with them (compliment them) and for each item, ask them to comment on how they see that trait in you.
Step 2 - Complimenting Strangers
Set a goal of giving 5-10 compliments in one day.
While you are out and about (in the *outside world*) pick out someone to compliment (a store clerk, a restaurant server, a person in line with you at the store) and give them a sincere compliment charm (read How To Cast a Healing Charm to learn how). Repeat this for as many as you set your goal to achieve.
Make note in your tiny notebook of all compliments you gave that day. Write these compliments only on the LEFT side of the notebook.
The night, before you go to bed, review your list of compliments. Take a deep FOCUSED BREATH between each one you write down. For each compliment, re-write it on the RIGHT side of the notebook in first person, attributing the compliment to yourself.
Step 3 - Accepting Compliments
For one whole day, accept every single compliment given to you with a simple "yes, Thank you." Saying YES is key because you are affirming the compliment and agreeing. If it is difficult for you to say "Yes, thank you." Then you can say something like "I know, right?...Thank you."
Write down all the compliments you receive in your tiny notebook.
At the end of the day, review the compliments that people gave you, and write down a compliment you would (or did) give that person in return.